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| Reflections ... One Year Post-op |
| As my one year anniversary for my Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery approaches, I felt it was time to reflect on what the changes of the past year have been like. Some of what I did not expect when I decided on this surgery was the urgent need for me to understand about vitamins, minerals, lab tests, calcium, and all things that would affect my body or be affected by the changes in how my body functioned once it was permanently altered. I remember feeling very overwhelmed last spring when it became obvious to me that I HAD TO understand more about vitamins, minerals, and lab tests. As a non-medical person this seemed to be a very daunting task. But, it is one that I took on as a challenge once I got over the panic. It is something that I continue to build on my range of knowledge as time moves forward. I made excellent use of the many long term post-ops that frequent the various Yahoo groups. I found that their willingness to share information and experiences was most invaluable. I would especially like to commend Michelle Curran (aka Vitalady of www.vitalady.com) for her unselfish efforts to help us learn from her lessons. Michelle is a 10 year post-op who has experienced her share of difficulties because of poor advice from the medical community. She has learned to be her own advocate in all things that had to do with her health. She provides an excellent example for the rest of us to follow. We listen to our surgeons, respect them for their surgical skills, and then we research to make sure that the advice given really makes sense for our bodies. We MUST track our lab tests and watch for trends. This is done the easiest by using a spread sheet program like Excel. It is very helpful to provide your primary care physician with a spread sheet that shows each lab and the various results that are laid out over a period of time. It eliminates going back and forth between reams of lab paperwork and provides an instant picture of what a particular lab result is stating. It is also very important for the gastric bypass patient to purchase a good book about vitamins and minerals, and a good book about lab tests. I have a comprehensive list of various books that should be considered for a WLS library at www.acdlady.com/WLS _Books and I include some good books on both topics for consideration. I have most of these books in my personal library. This past year has been difficult for me. I have struggled and continue to struggle with deficiencies in iron, magnesium and Vitamin A to find a way to balance my body. As I approach the time for my one year lab work I will be asking my bariatric MD to help me consolidate the labs that my surgeon orders, my endocrinologist orders, and incorporate the missing items from the suggested labs list for WLS post-ops into one big lab order. I fully expect to feel like I have been visited by a vampire by the time I have this blood draw completed. However, it is very important to help me eliminate any problem areas and identify anything that has been missed thus far. I am also anxious to see how I am doing with those items that I know I am deficient in so that I can tweak my supplements accordingly. It is my plan that if my labs are basically stable I will go to labs every four months instead of three for this next year. I will decide at my two year rebirthday if I want to go to semi-annual labs or if I need to remain on the 4 month schedule. What I have found to be disappointing over the past year is the lack of energy to exercise in the way that I would like. This is a result of low Ferritin levels (iron deficient) and I am sure it has cost me in pounds lost over this time and certainly has costs me muscle toning. I was just recently beginning to improve in that area and my appendix ruptured on November 1. I spent two nights in the hospital and find that the energy is zapped at the moment. Hopefully that is short lived and hopefully the surgery did not cost me a lot of my iron reserves that I was just beginning to build up. Still I forge forward because I am beginning to see the life to come in my attitude. A good thing that has been part of my post-op journey is I have not had a problem with eating food. I have been careful in my choices, but for the most part have not had any mishaps. I have dumped about four times I think and know what caused the dumping. Milk was one culprit and the other was a protein isolate powder that evidently hits my blood sugar way too fast and hard (I need to do it with a bit of peanut butter to avoid the speedy reaction). For me, the dumping was most like a hypoglycemic reaction. People react in many different ways, this is how I react. I can still eat and enjoy Mexican food. I just have smaller portions and can get 2 or 3 meals out of one restaurant meal. I am a cheap date. Until very recently I have just spent the year studying, surviving, and trying to obey the rules of a gastric bypass patient. I did not see ahead to better and more active times because, well ... I was just trying to heal and improve my energy level. Then, Steve and I spent some time taking some new photos (see the one at the top of this page) and suddenly I realized that my mental image of myself was finally matching and even surprised by what the camera was showing. What that means for me is that as a regular sized child and teenager I grew up with my brain thinking thin. As I became more and more obese, I did not see myself as the camera showed me to be. I still saw myself as a large, but not obese person when I looked at myself in the mirror. Then, we did the most recent photos and I realized that I looked thinner than what I saw myself to be. Wow. What a moment. I could not get over that slim neck and face. When did that happen?! Somewhere in the last ten pounds things changed and they changed a lot. Wow. I am beginning to realize that there is a real change happening to my body and it is also happening to my brain. Who is this new person, I am not totally sure? The obvious questions are becoming, what will this new person want to do with her life as her health improves? I am not sure. All I know is that for now I am taking it a day at a time and I will decide about each step carefully as I get to it. This is the first time in my life when I can do what it is that I need to do for me. I no longer have responsibilities of raising a child and I can put myself first. I hope I know how to do that. I hope I don't hedge and fear change too much. Okay, some of the changes for the last year have been: 1) I can tie my shoes 2) I can put on my boots and wear them comfortably. 3) I can walk a mile plus without pain. 4) I can buy clothes from a regular store. 5) I can buy a regular underwire bra and have it fit comfortably. 6) I can wear regular clothes designed with my tastes in mind (I am not stuck in the fashion that someone decided fat women should wear). 7) I can shave my arm pits and get all the hair (no fat bulges in the way). 8) I can look at the back of my legs. 9) I am beginning to keep up with my housework (at least before my appendix I was). 10) I can drive a motorcycle again and have my own motorcycle now. 11) I am no longer obese and only over-weight. 12) I have passed the century mark and am down 103 pounds. 13) I will soon weigh less than 200 pounds - I weight exactly 200 on the eve of my ReBirthday. 14) I finally weigh less than Steve. 15) I have lost 144 inches from 28 measuring points on my body since surgery. 16) I can cross my legs easily. 17) I can fit into regular shoes much easier and feel ready to begin looking for more styles. 18) I have gone from a very tight 3X to a snug Large in clothes. 19) My butt hurts when I sit on hard surfaces because of the lack of padding. 20) I can take my dogs for a walk. 21) I can touch the ground by bending over. 22) I no longer use my handicap sticker. 23) I can make healthy food choices and not feel deprived because I no longer eat sweet stuff. 24) I can help out with or just do some of the mechanical chores on my motorcycle. 25) I can help out with a garage shelf building project. 26) I find myself totally amazed when that size large pants or top actually fits on me. I keep thinking they are too small. Challenges: 1) Boredom snacking. This is a work in progress because I cannot trace it to anything in particular and am finding that I just need to realize it is what it is and decide on a plan of attack to best deal with it. I think as I feel better it will be easier to handle (i.e. I can get out and move my butt). 2) Continuing to lose weight past the one year mark. 3) Learning how to cook again and to do healthy well-balanced cooking. I have been in survival mode for quite some time now so this is going to be a big project. 4) Painting the inside of my house. 5) Maybe painting the outside of my house. 6) Overcoming fear of driving a motorcycle. I do fine when I am on it, I just have the "oh my God" syndrome when I am not. 7) Finding a mentally healthy activity for me to grow into as I become more normal and don't have to be a full time job to myself. 8) Continuing to bring my body into balance and know what supplements I need and resolving any deficiencies. 9) Deep clean the house - this will probably end up being part of the painting project. A room at a time is all I ask. 10) EXERCISE - learning to like it and making it a priority in my day. I need to tone this new body of mine. 11) Hernia repair surgery in the future. I am not looking forward to this and need to lose at least another 30 pounds before I do it. Surprises: I was surprised last evening when I was looking back through this online journal because I became very tearful, reflective and emotional when I saw those fat pictures of me. The photos that especially hit a nerve were those from my hospital stay. I look at all of them in wonder and part of me wishes to know how in the world I came to that place in life? How did it come to be that I had to resort to gastric bypass surgery? Intellectually I know the answer, but part of me wants it to be more complex than what it is. Still for the moment I cry for that woman who was trapped in that body for so very long. It was such a hurtful place to be. Now I need to learn to love and embrace this new body as it continues to evolve. I do have quite the journey ahead of me. The best is yet to be. December 7, 2004 Tomorrow is my one year ReBirthday!! I am down 90 pounds since surgery and 103 pounds total. For Steve and I, we approach this anniversary with a new challenge because he was involuntarily "retired" after almost 32 years with Motorola as a software engineer. We have some challenges and possibly some difficult decisions ahead of us, however we have faith that God will see us through this to something that is even better for us. He is providing a lighted path a step at a time right now. The most important thing for us is that we love each other, have our health and will share this new experience together with love, compassion and as much patience and faith as possible. It has been a hard year, but there have been many blessings as well. |
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| Down 102 pounds from my high weight, 89 from surgery |
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